Pop Quiz!

This is a test. Put your books and notes away. No talking.

Oh, no, that was in high school.

There was a test, though, but it is already over. Remember that miserable, horrible, no good, very bad day you had last week--the one you never wanted to think about again? Yes, that one. How’d you do?

Life can hit us hard sometimes. Dealing with routine demands doesn’t take too much thought, but on occasion, our day presents us with some surprises we would have chosen to avoid. Maybe the boss cancelled your vacation at the last minute; or your 15 year-old was spotted at the mall when he should have been in Algebra class; or, even worse, maybe the three year-old flushed your car keys.

How did you respond? Or did you? The reason I ask is that it is possible that you didn’t respond. Maybe you reacted, instead. There is a difference between the two. The words are often used interchangeably, but when I hear them used incorrectly, the brakes squeal as my mind comes to an abrupt halt.

The words themselves tell the difference. To react means that you act immediately because of something that has happened. To respond means that, after pondering, or thinking rationally and logically about the subject, you act according to the wisdom you have gained.

Into everyone’s life some chaos must fall. Amongst the daily responsibilities that clamor for attention, we can pretty much count on a few irritating, frustrating surprises to pop up out of nowhere. Of course, we shouldn’t stifle every emotion, but we should always maintain perspective.

The thing is, it is all too easy to react to situations that really could use a response. We see it all the time: the kids misbehave; someone fails us; something gets broken. Without thinking, we react by yelling, or retaliating, or becoming offended, and usually, regretting it later. It is possible to compensate for a wrong reaction to a little thing. However, if it has become a habit to react to every situation, we may have a problem when we are confronted with a major issue. Inappropriate reactions may create chasms that prevent any positive resolution to the next problem.

Reacting out of anger and responding in love are two common phrases we are all familiar with. If you were on the receiving end, wouldn’t you prefer the latter, rather than the former? The people in our lives would surely prefer the same treatment.

Any positive influence we may have in the lives of others may depend on how we deal with them when irritating mishaps come up each day. If we routinely respond in love, we will surely pass this test with flying colors. That’s not an easy standard to meet, but well worth striving for. Personally, I hope that when others think of their relationship with me, responds in love will come to mind.