Password Pandemonium

It started in Junior High. Twelve year olds, in an unfamiliar building, starting their day an hour earlier, remembering -- or not -- to bring their gym clothes, navigating an unfamiliar building, changing classrooms for the first time, were issued their first lockers and told to memorize the combinations within three days. Many did, but a few never managed to accomplish that task. They could frequently be seen making their way to the office, feeling dumb and hoping nobody noticed. Well into the year, distraught students could be heard bellowing, “My locker won’t open!” More often than not, it did though, as soon as the right combination was tried.

With the passing of time, the culprit morphed from locker combinations to the dreaded password. Password pandemonium crept upon us slowly at first, but soon picked up momentum, leaving shattered people in its wake. Since the introduction of computers, passwords have become as vital to our way of life as breathing. For years, I staunchly resisted doing business on-line, but a recent count revealed that I currently have 19 passwords, and every one of them came with the admonition to “memorize it”.

Memorization has never been my strong suit, but let’s pretend I do manage to remember my 19 passwords. Now I also have to memorize which password goes with which account. That’s just asking too much of my feeble brain, so it only follows that on occasion, I log in with the wrong password. The powers that be must have seen this before, because they have already provided a way to resolve this problem – simply request a temporary password. All I have to do is “click here”, and answer two security questions.

That’s not a problem, since I know the answers. After all, I told them what they were. So, how could they stump me? I know the city where my dad was born, and I know the hospital where I was born. Regardless, the program insists I have given them the wrong answer, so maybe I typed it wrong. Or, it could be that I spelled it wrong. Is it Trumbell, or maybe I used the complete name: Trumbell General Hospital? Maybe it’s spelled Trumbull, or Trumble. After three more tries I give up.

On occasion, I have been able to get beyond this obstacle, but now I am confronted with the security word: a nonsense word in a blurry, bizarre typeface. If I guess right and type in the correct word, I am allowed to continue the process. Soon an e-mail arrives with a temporary password that looks something like this: pT4ZxA3Bwl7hg9bhg8nie3vsc2qqU. I’m supposed to type that in correctly, but, surprisingly, I rarely do.

By the time I reach the “Change Your Password” page, my mind has been so focused on following instructions and producing correct answers, it is incapable of giving way to the creative side of my brain that could actually come up with a suitable word. Besides that, there are guidelines to follow: Case matters, or case doesn’t matter; use at least eight characters; include two upper case and two lower case letters and one numeral; use one special character; don’t reuse an old password; change password periodically; and don’t write password down. Reading those final two makes me laugh, but the laugh has an hysterical inflection that concerns me a bit.

As much as I resent having to go through all this trouble, I do understand the need for it. A password does keep me out, but it also keeps the bad guys out. If not for disreputable fiends that care nothing about integrity and that have no concern for their fellow man, on-line programs could be designed to function without such maddening complexity. If I ever had the chance to vent all my password related frustration on a cyber-criminal, it would not be a pretty sight. Why can’t people just do what’s right?

Well, I know the answer. People don’t do what’s right because they have no understanding of what true righteousness is. Nobody can understand that before they come face to face with the Savior. Once that happens, the old ways will not be appealing or acceptable to them anymore. Seeing the lost turn to the Lord is always a blessing, but think of the difference it can make to a world beset by sin.